In 2014, Gladys and I made our first trip as a couple to Bali, Indonesia.
We were young, free and, needless to say, full of energy.
Since we only had a few days, we made sure to pack out the itinerary with only the stuff we liked to do.
Like, for example, hiking. Over two consecutive days we climbed not just one but two of the island’s active volcanoes, Mount Batur and Mount Agung, catching the sunrise at each peak. We also snorkelled around Gili Islands and saw, for the very first time in our lives, coral reefs and the marine wildlife that inhabited them. It was an interesting experience because, for some reason, the coral reefs were infested with black, spiky sea urchins, which we later found out from the guide were destructive to the ecosystem and needed to be cleared manually.
And of course, the food, which consisted of not just Indonesian cuisine, my absolute favourite, but also fresh catches from the surrounding seas.
What made this trip extra special was that we brought along our newly purchased Canon 5D Mark IIIs, which, if you knew anything about cameras, were the juggernauts of the era. A lot of time was spent snapping pictures and comparing our shots with each other before posting them on Instagram.
Such was the first impression that two years later, in 2016, I decided that it was going to be the destination for my surprise proposal to Gladys.
So, in the summer of that year, I secretly concocted a narrative with two of our Indonesian friends to fool Gladys into thinking that we were only going to Bali for a vacation at one of their families’ holiday villas. While that was happening, I arranged for twenty of our friends and family (including her brother, who was living in London at the time) to fly in, rendezvous at the preselected spot, and wait silently in the bushes for the cue to reveal themselves. This happened to be at the exact same time I told Gladys I wanted to catch the sunset over the cliffs while we waited for our friends who were being held up at the villa.
Then boom! The deal was sealed, captured in photos and videos, with Gladys’ hysterical, SURPRISED reaction becoming a topic of comedy in the decade to follow.
Fast forward a couple of years to the week leading up to New Year’s Day 2020, when we spent what was left of 2019 at the famous Potato Head Beach Club (Peggy Gou was the guest DJ), Finn’s Beach Club, and Tropicola Beach Club. We dined at various top-rated restaurants recommended by Google, one of which I vividly remember as the establishment with a big, vibrant neon sign reading “MOTEL MEXICOLA”, and whose delicious, sweet-salty quesadillas gave birth to my infatuation with Mexican food.
Then, of course, the great pandemic hit, grounding all of humanity for a good two years.
I hadn’t been back since, until a couple of months ago when an opportunity came up for us to discover a quieter side of the island to host one of Gosh! Kids' overseas creative-culture camp. By then, we were married, raising a kid, and had been running the business for almost three years.
Despite what most people in my circle have commented on how the pandemic had caused a decline in the economic and social state of the island, I was, on the contrary, surprised to see an emergence of new businesses and tourism, and had felt that a new brand of energy had taken over. Obvious were the influx of digital nomads, restaurants, massage parlours, hotels, malls, companies offering extreme sports tours et cetera, and of course, the inevitable inflation. In fact, what I remembered most about this island remained exactly the same — the warmth of the people, the culture and tradition, the abstract blend of ritualism and spirituality, the nature, the heat, the traffic...
Which was why I was particularly upset to read in the news, just shortly after my return visit, about how two foreigners had apparently organised, illegally, a run club event that not only disturbed the peace but also discriminated against the locals by excluding them from taking part.
I've heard and read versions of stories like this all the time, not just in Bali but everywhere in the world, including my own country. We've seen videos of unabashed foreigners physically abusing deers at the deer park in Nara, Japan. We've seen social media influencers and content creators harassing locals for likes and views. And just last month, a foreign diving instructor was arrested after he posted a video of himself killing an endangered sea turtle with a speargun.
Can the anger be justified? Most certainly. Because we attach meaning and value to physical spaces, to the places we dwell in. They contain cultures and traditions that predate hundreds, if not thousands of years, and I'm not going to allow someone to spit on the ground and degrade them because they don't understand them.
Okay, I may be exaggerating, but it could also be that we have forgotten we are entering someone else's home, that we have the responsibility to clean up after ourselves, to respect the things that do not belong to us. I'm guilty of this. I had thought before, I've paid money for this, now what do I get? This attitude was what made me entitled.
But ever since I became a parent in 2021, moved to Japan in 2022, and started running travel education experiences for families around Asia, the exact opposite has happened. Now I am thinking, how can I contribute? How can I give back? How can I present my skills and resources in such a way that can add value to the places I visit?
How can we elevate the experiences of us visitors by getting into the fabric of the local community, to raise them to a point where they can be seen and heard?
A big plus point of my job is that I get to meet with local craftsmen, many of whom are slowly being cut out by the "cutting edge" of technology. Yet, while I sit there, listening to their stories and experiencing the craft first-hand, I find so much history and meaning, so much value in the things that big tech is apparently rendering obsolete. I thought to myself, no way these traditions are dying? And with all that I've experienced so far, I feel like I have been bestowed with an obligation to do my best to make known, to the world, that there are traditions and values worth holding on.
The twenty-five-year-old me wouldn’t have thought about this at all. But I recognised that this is a privilege I've been handed, that it was only through my work at Gosh! Kids that this becomes possible. I'm so grateful for this that I want to make it a point for families to have a share in their contribution. More importantly, I want to open up a channel for everyone to make a difference in the lives of people who do not live in their immediate surroundings, to practise virtues in a world that seemingly disregards them.
“Isn’t it funny,” C. S. Lewis wrote, “that day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?”
Despite what people have said, Bali is no different, to me at least. It's the same as I remembered it when I first set foot on it, twelve years ago.
But you know what changed? I did, and my life has now given me new ways of appreciating the land I've entered, and am about to enter again. Like the songs that we listened to when we were 15 — they hit differently when you listen to them in your 40s.
That's the feeling we ought to preserve.
So I'd say, revisit the places that you’ve not visited in a while. Re-read books. Set the long-overdue appointment with that friend you've not seen in a decade.
Don't expect it to be the same again.
Because you’ve changed, and that changes everything.
And that's the opportunity for us all to make a difference this March 2027 in Bali, Indonesia.
During this 5D4N journey, your family will make a four-hour drive from Bali's busy south to the island's quieter west, well outside the tourist hubs. You'll spend a day immersed in conserved nature, and plant mangroves as part of a local conservation effort. Over two days, your children will visit a local school and participate in a meaningful cultural exchange with local students, collaborating on a project they will present together.
Got questions? WhatsApp us @ +65 8110 9154
Ready to sign up? Visit www.goshkids.org/bali to fill in the registration form.
